January 26, 2011

Weird and Cool-weird

Two weird things happened recently. One: someone wrote me, I got distracted after reading their message and wasn't able to write back that very instant, and then they blocked me (i.e. within the same day of opening the message). Huh.

Second, in the cool-weird category: I just found out a vanilla friend is kinky! I mean, we do papercrafts and go shopping together, and she has a conventional corporate job. We were talking about her past relationships and she "came out" to me about being a Domme (and even an ex-pro-Domme). It was so unexpected!

My porn

Oz and Vampire Diaries. Between Keller being.. Keller, and werewolf teenagers tied up and writhing in pain, I'm pretty much all set.

January 20, 2011

Shallow Bitch

This is an edited (for length) reply to a guy who basically accused me of being shallow and unrealistic:
[UPDATE ...after my rant]

You are missing two very vital points to my profile, and one rather more mundane one.
The more mundane one is that my profile may come across as more shallow and bitchy than I am in real life, because guys tend to have an inflated sense of ego/their own attractiveness (tend to-- I realize not everyone is like this!) and it weeds out people who are clearly not my type.

So, the two important points:
First, as both a Domme and a woman who has become comfortable with her sexuality, I have the right and the prerogative to pursue things that turn me on. If you had a foot fetish and I refused to let you even look at my feet, I would not be a good partner for you (or I'd be the world's biggest tease). I'm not so shallow and specific as to demand that everyone I hook up with is a blonde 25-yo surfer --I do not have particular concerns about height, hair, beards, ethnicity, or model-good-looks. And my age restrictions are more about dating potential, being in the same place in our lives, than arbitrary cut-offs. I like athletic guys who take care of themselves, with whom I have great chemistry and share overlapping kinks. That, my dear, is completely reasonable.

Second, I am an attractive woman. I date attractive men. I have dated multiple guys who are smart and attractive, yes, with those washboard abs. I nearly married one of them (thankfully realizing I would be bored with the non-kinky sex, in that case, for the rest of my life). Another cute smarty-pants who WAS kinky (and I met on here!) moved across the country for a job (after we dated for 8 months) and it just didn't work out with the distance. There's no need for me to settle for someone I'm not attracted to, and since I'm looking for a primary relationship right now, it's an important factor. Be glad I'm not specifying letters after the name, or you'd think I was being unrealistic!

Finally, I appreciate your suggestion about putting someone on a fitness regimen, but I see two problems with this: first, if they don't comply, then I am forced to reject someone with whom I have a relationship already, which pretty much sucks. I've been there; I am not such a sadist that I enjoy hurting someone's feelings. And second, I am not a babysitter. Some Dommes enjoy molding and controlling their subs in all aspects of the sub's life, but I'm just not into this. I have my own life, I prefer equality outside of the bedroom, and I feel the gift of submission is more meaningful coming from a strong and self-actualized person.

UPDATE: the guy who originally wrote to me turns out is not a jerk; I believe he was waxing philosophical. I feel my rant stands on its own, but want it on the record that this anonymous person doesn't deserve the brunt of my vitriol. He also made a cute point in his follow-up letter: "I mean, can you imagine my horror [if I were] to discover all the sub women in the world want to dress like men, and do a TERRIBLE job at it."


this was written and posted on collarme Dec. 25, 2010

I seem to get the same questions over-and-over so I'm recycling some messages I've sent. The next young-and-inexperienced boy (not putting ya down, not your fault you're inexperienced) who asks me why I'm into bi guys and informs me that as a self-proclaimed alpha male he could never take a strap-on may be referred here:

Nothing quite like making an alpha male realize he's capable of feeling overwhelmed and "taken" by a woman he trusts. Very intense! And strap-ons are something to work up to anyway-- I actually prefer to use my fingers as it provides more feedback and intimacy. Trust me, the vast majority of guys I've played with like that have spectacular orgasms...once they're allowed to cum ;o)

...Though occasionally a guy isn't "wired" for anal despite the male g-spot being there, I do recommend you play with it on your own because you're just seriously missing out if you are wired.

To your other question: why bi? Well, I can't speak for everyone on here, but it comes down to three things for me. First, the taboo/shame aspect is very hot. I think it's partly because I'm bi, and I've worked through my own shame with that (I came out in high school). So a guy having a bit of shame around that and doing it anyway because he's so turned on just speaks to me.

Second, there's obviously the control: I'm getting off as a Domme on making him do something he's not "supposed" to do. And third, there's the aspect that I think is the same reason why a lot of guys like seeing two women together: it's doubling up the whole visual pleasure and sexual energy, and usually I get to be the center of attention at some point, which is quite fun!

Special Little Butterflies

Wow, I received messages [on collarme] from two more special little butterflies today who claimed they read my profile-- but couldn't be bothered to comprehend or respond to any specifics in my profile (can I make it any more clear that I don't like IM??).

Look people, this isn't just my ego talking, it's basic common sense: if you are presenting yourself as a subbie, one of the first things you can do is demonstrate how you make an effort to learn about my preferences. A "service oriented" sub should make that service orientation shine through his or her writing. For that matter, any intelligent person would want to show how they are a good conversationalist who can learn about the person with whom they're conversing.

Is it a lot of effort, especially if you're not getting a lot of positive responses? Yes, of course, it's more effort than a form letter. However, it actually improves your chances of getting a positive response, because it doesn't make you sound like a ditwiss and it means you're pre-screening on your end for people with whom you're compatible (you know, by reading their profile). Oh, and bonus: you're not wasting your time with as many fake people, since fake profiles are unlikely to have interesting nuances for you to use as a conversation starter!

Oh, spelling errors, how I love you

Collard: a leafy green vegetable. Rarely used as a verb.
Collared: owned by someone in a D/s relationship.

New motto

"Waterboarding: Not Just for the CIA"

The footrest story

This story was originally published on my collarme journal on 12/4/2005

Lately, I've been thinking about having a boy as a piece of furniture, or at least a temporary tortured footrest:

He strips down in front of me, keeping his eyes averted -- sometimes I like a naughty sub, but this time, I want obeisance. He has on a collar already, and wrist cuffs and a cock ring, as previously instructed. He knows what's coming and he's nervous: as I run my hand down his chest, I can feel his heart racing. I inspect his collar, cuffs and ring to make sure they are just right, and this makes him start to get hard... so I tug his balls forward and wrap latex tape around them -- around and around, and up over his cock. This makes him go completely hard. He forgets himself and unclasps his hands from behind his back -- I'll have to punish him for that later. I would love to wrap latex tape around his neck, too, however this particular boy cannot tolerate the choking sensation.

His cockring has a convenient D-ring on it and I run some rope through it and up to his collar. I play with him a bit, leading him around the room. What a nice ass... he has shaved the crack as instructed and I make him spread to see how it is nice and clean. Good boy! He must hold that standing spread-cheek position while I walk to the other side of the room, casually put on a latex glove, and grab my leather paddle.

I had originally planned to paddle him tonight more for humiliation than actual pain, but now I tell him he needs a bit more paddling for unclasping his hands during inspection earlier. He must take this stoically as I warm him up. I tug at his balls as I hit him. He moans a little, though doesn't say "ouch" (a word that i consider a semi-safe word: won't totally break the mood, will only be used when really needed). I paddle sternly: whop, whop, whop.  His ass is getting quite pink and I keep hitting harder.

When his ass is red to my satisfaction, just at that burning stage, I put some lube on my finger, have him spread again, and begin probing him. I'm playing with him, too, as I spread plenty of lube inside, getting him ready for something bigger.
He starts moaning at the second finger, pushing back against me, and then the third -- and I abruptly pull my hand away. He stands there SO turned on and looking a little slutty with his legs wide and ass practically begging for more. I ask him: do you want more? Yes mistress, please, more! Can you take it? Whatever you want, mistress!

I have a clever toy just for him. He thinks it's a normal butt plug. It's a bit snug easing it inside him, he gasps, then turns red with the blush traveling up to his face from the feeling in his ass... I add a few more wraps of rope and latex tape in strategic places securing the buttplug and I'm ready to construct my footrest.

Down on you elbows and knees, boy! And just like that, his wrists and cockring are tied to his collar. He is immobile -- or rather, further significant movement will cause pain to his cock and balls. I flip the switch on his vibrating plug. He was maybe not expecting that. The sensations inside him cause him to writhe but his movement is restricted. I enjoy seeing him sqiurm, moan... it turns me on and I'd like to shove his face onto my pussy. However this is a footrest, so I grab my computer to read, prop my feet up on his back, and stick my hand down my underwear.