So, I feel conflicted about having this crush on a (likely) vanilla guy, for at least two reasons:
1. there are plenty of hot submissive men who are not in the kind of D/s relationship they'd like, and it seems like a waste to not have a crush on one of them (...at the moment; I certainly have in the past), and
2. should anything happen to bring me close enough to the (likely) vanilla guy, I'm putting us both in a tough spot of me rejecting him for not being kinky enough (despite me already recognizing he's probably not kinky). For that matter, there's also the (likely) possibility of being rejected myself for being too kinky, which doesn't feel great, either.
Anyway, I've been trying to talk myself out of this crush for weeks, as it's somewhat inappropriate in other regards, too. Maybe I just like having a crush; maybe it's just fun to fantasize about going out on a totally vanilla date, and we start making out when he walks me to my car, and then I pinch his nipple just a little too hard and it catches him unawares but he gets all melty... and hot sexytimes ensue...
Update: I still have a crush on this guy. It has been MONTHS. I don't feel like dating (or playing with) anyone else. I am hesitant to ask him out because of situational social dynamics (basically I have to be really-really sure, not just testing the waters; no he's not married). On the plus side, he shows up as a faint blip on my subdar... but maybe this is wishful thinking.