Edit to CM profile: Jan 2: w/r/t male doms

Previous* version: "...Experiment with regards to male Doms = successful! I have a few good contacts now. New male Doms may go back to ignoring my profile... no really. Please."

New version: "...Experiment with regards to male Doms = successful! I have a few good contacts now."
Reasons for edits: 1. compassion: learning that not all male dominant-people suck (lol, perhaps poor choice of words...) means I can be more sensitive to randomly-hostile phrasing in my communications; 2. clarity: new version is shorter.
 
...first mistyped as pervious version, lol. Also, if you're not familiar with shorthand, w/r/t = "with regard to", which I didn't know for the longest time until I became a David Foster Wallace fan.

Shallow Bitch

This is an edited (for length) reply to a guy who basically accused me of being shallow and unrealistic:

[UPDATE ...after my rant]

Hi,

You are missing two very vital points to my profile, and one rather more mundane one.

The more mundane one is that my profile may come across as more shallow and bitchy than I am in real life, because guys tend to have an inflated sense of ego/their own attractiveness (tend to-- I realize not everyone is like this!) and it weeds out people who are clearly not my type.

So, the two important points:

First, as both a Domme and a woman who has become comfortable with her sexuality, I have the right and the prerogative to pursue things that turn me on. If you had a foot fetish and I refused to let you even look at my feet, I would not be a good partner for you (or I'd be the world's biggest tease). I'm not so shallow and specific as to demand that everyone I hook up with is a blonde 25-yo surfer --I do not have particular concerns about height, hair, beards, ethnicity, or model-good-looks. And my age restrictions are more about dating potential, being in the same place in our lives, than arbitrary cut-offs. I like athletic guys who take care of themselves, with whom I have great chemistry and share overlapping kinks. That, my dear, is completely reasonable.

Second, I am an attractive woman. I date attractive men. I have dated multiple guys who are smart and attractive, yes, with those washboard abs. I nearly married one of them (thankfully realizing I would be bored with the non-kinky sex, in that case, for the rest of my life). Another cute smarty-pants who WAS kinky (and I met on here!) moved across the country for a job (after we dated for 8 months) and it just didn't work out with the distance. There's no need for me to settle for someone I'm not attracted to, and since I'm looking for a primary relationship right now, it's an important factor. Be glad I'm not specifying letters after the name, or you'd think I was being unrealistic!

Finally, I appreciate your suggestion about putting someone on a fitness regimen, but I see two problems with this: first, if they don't comply, then I am forced to reject someone with whom I have a relationship already, which pretty much sucks. I've been there; I am not such a sadist that I enjoy hurting someone's feelings. And second, I am not a babysitter. Some Dommes enjoy molding and controlling their subs in all aspects of the sub's life, but I'm just not into this. I have my own life, I prefer equality outside of the bedroom, and I feel the gift of submission is more meaningful coming from a strong and self-actualized person.

...

UPDATE: the guy who originally wrote to me turns out is not a jerk; I believe he was waxing philosophical. I feel my rant stands on its own, but want it on the record that this anonymous person doesn't deserve the brunt of my vitriol. He also made a cute point in his follow-up letter: "I mean, can you imagine my horror [if I were] to discover all the sub women in the world want to dress like men, and do a TERRIBLE job at it."

Special Little Butterflies

Wow, I received messages [on collarme] from two more special little butterflies today who claimed they read my profile-- but couldn't be bothered to comprehend or respond to any specifics in my profile (can I make it any more clear that I don't like IM??).

Look people, this isn't just my ego talking, it's basic common sense: if you are presenting yourself as a subbie, one of the first things you can do is demonstrate how you make an effort to learn about my preferences. A "service oriented" sub should make that service orientation shine through his or her writing. For that matter, any intelligent person would want to show how they are a good conversationalist who can learn about the person with whom they're conversing.

Is it a lot of effort, especially if you're not getting a lot of positive responses? Yes, of course, it's more effort than a form letter. However, it actually improves your chances of getting a positive response, because it doesn't make you sound like a ditwiss and it means you're pre-screening on your end for people with whom you're compatible (you know, by reading their profile). Oh, and bonus: you're not wasting your time with as many fake people, since fake profiles are unlikely to have interesting nuances for you to use as a conversation starter!